TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
