How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
