wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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