fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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