...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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