she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you are never too drunk for berry picking
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
