What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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