Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
