so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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