We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
