Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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