its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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