well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Vodka?
Forever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
