We're facebook friends in real life
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
