you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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