just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You can't motorboat a personality
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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