East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
