i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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