I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
