You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
