Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dignity is for republicans.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
