singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So much Jack, so little girl.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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