her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
