She's JV to your varsity
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
