Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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