Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
what day is it and did you see me today?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
