Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
