okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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