dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
