this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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