Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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