I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize