I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's just like the Real World with babies
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
