So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
