Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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