I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i came on her dog
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
