Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
