How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
