It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize