i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Houston, we have a blender
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
