I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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