Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
