this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
