You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
