Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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