So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
