I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
