No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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