I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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