yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
