He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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