Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize