im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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