this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
