what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
