btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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