So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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