Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
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I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.