would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
