New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
