I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo