Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize