Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.