Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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