i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
