My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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