Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
