he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you didnt know i had herpes?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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